“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change.”

– Carl Rogers

This is the work of therapy: full acceptance of ourselves, just as we are, to facilitate healing and growth. Easier said than done! But gradually, as we build a relationship with someone who accepts us without conditions, and we take time to explore our experiences, acceptance can become possible. With acceptance comes the ability to change. It’s a subtle and profound process that unfolds in this context of relationship.

Life can be mysterious and messy, joyful and beautiful, confusing and overwhelming. And sometimes it’s painful and hard. For any number of reasons, we can feel stuck. Worse than feeling stuck is feeling stuck and alone. Engaging in therapy means we don’t have to face hard things alone. A lot of healing can come just through the act of someone hearing our story. Rarely do we make the time to hear each other deeply, or to listen to ourselves. Therapy creates the time and space to listen to what is stirring beneath the surface of our daily lives.

The picture can become even more complex when it comes to our intimate relationships with partners and family. We can get stuck in patterns of interaction that can get in the way of the connection we desire. Couple and family therapy creates an opportunity to examine those patterns in an effort to understand ourselves and others in our lives. Drawing on the acceptance of a therapeutic context, we can move away from assigning blame for our concerns, opening new opportunities for connection and creativity in our relationships.